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An Instruction Manual To Oneself

An Instruction Manual To Oneself

We don’t need our lovers to be perfect. We need them to warn us of their quirks in good time. We need them to give us an instruction manual to themselves. If you like our films, take a look at our shop (we ship worldwide):

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β€œMost machines of any degree of complexity are offered to us with an instruction manual, a guide to how an unfamiliar technology works, what we can expect from it, how to get the best out of it and how to interpret its signals – the assumption being that it will be so much easier and less enraging to deal with the machine when we have taken some time systematically and patiently to learn how it operates.

Yet one area where we tend not to have manuals to read is when it comes to other people and their functioning…”

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Produced in collaboration with Nick Hilditch #TheSchoolOfLife


  1. Ko Shong Chiu on February 7, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    The speaker’s English is really good but showing off here is really not necessary to be honest. Too many redundant adjectives. The goal of language is to spread ideas in a simple way so the recipient would easily comprehend.

  2. redox gaming on February 7, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    This is such a great idea!! Do You guys gave a template or checklist of the things a manual like this should have? Or examples? I would most definately buy one if You guys Made something that could help or guide me on making such a thing. Even on the most basic lvl.

  3. The Lone Dreamer on February 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    Dang it! I wanted to learn how to know myself better, not some companion that may or may not ever exist. Could’ve made a better title.

  4. Lua Veli on February 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    Here are four questions for your manual:
    1. How much solitude do you need?
    If you are an introvert for example, you will have to choose your words very carefully to explain that you do love that person, but you turn mad if you can’t spend some hours in silence regularly.

    If you are "very introverted", it may be the best solution to have a long distance relationship.

    2. How are you in conflict situations?

    Personally I have always wondered how people are able to say the worst insults to each other and then get back as if nothing happened.

    In my humble opinion verbal violence is just as horrible as physical violence. So if shouting around and saying insults is supposed to be "a sign of trust" and therefore "a sign of love", I would definitely say this:

    – Love me less, but treat me properly!

    No need to get "that close" to anybody. I mean to a point where respect doesn’t seem to matter. What a nightmare…

    3. How much do you want to get involved with your partners family?

    This may sound strange to Europeans for example, but depending on the culture, you not only marry that one person, you marry his entire family.
    If you are really lucky and if they are all kind, it can be an enrichment for your life. But as you can imagine, it can also turn into an indescribable hell.

    4. How tender are you?

    How much you want to touch and be touched differs from culture to culture and from person to person. I don’t mean to be judgmental at all, but I guess cold people get along better with cold people.
    If you are the tender one, you will be terribly unhappy with a cold person.
    So it is a very important point to check too.

    I really don’t mean to sound too dark. But no matter how well his/her manual is prepared for you, you will never know a person entirely. Ultimately you are all alone in this world and anything can happen anytime.

    But once you accept all this, I do believe that you can love someone ( anybody) all your life.

  5. Romi Agua on February 7, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    Bem reflexivo.

  6. Kaikaku on February 7, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    I guess 1:33 is often so true: "I’m so worried, that you don’t want me and I’m getting in eraly with my revenge"

  7. Greg Zimmerman on February 7, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    Im doing this for future partners. Here is my manual summed up. I am obsessed with cartoons or any animation of any kind. I am still a big DC fan. I love movies and my camera. If I am quiet it means I dont wanna piss you off and if I am loud I’m usually just talking. I love rock, sushi and games. If I don’t understand something, I don’t like it and therefore I get bored of things easily. That’s my manual out there.So people can’t tell me I didn’t explain things properly.

    Peace out world

  8. Schem Chen on February 7, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    This channel. This channel is that instruction manusl.

  9. Nick Soper on February 7, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    I’ve watched about 20 of your videos over the last week and this one is such a lovely one. Loving and kind delivery with a simple, meaningful and accurate message. Keep them coming.

  10. Angel Leen on February 7, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    Even if we had instructions. Men don’t like to read them.

  11. s f on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Hahaha brilliant!

  12. Alex Otaku on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    School of life is easier to relate to and understand on a personal level than say, Tedx or other philosophical channels like Academy of Ideas and that, i think is precisely why it’s more popular.
    plus of course the narrative, animation and voice over are the cherry on the cake.

  13. Charlie Ann on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Model Number: 420-6969
    [WARNING: The sudden urge to commit self-inflicted system failure will at times override manual instructions]

    Common Viruses:
    -Fear of Abandonment
    -Fear of Commitment
    -Fear of Intimacy
    -Lack of Empathy
    -Emotional Sensitivity
    -Lack of Emotions
    When viruses are identified, the system will encrypt them within inaccessible files. The Virus will create separate Admin Privileges to prevent access.
    Thus, it is best to not directly attempt to recognize the virus.

  14. GreatBeardOfZeus _ on February 7, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    spot on. though hardship arises when the individual is unaware of how they themself functions. I find myself writing my partners manual for her and myself. most disregard the mechanisms that make them function. most rule out the idea that their upbringing shapes their current perception. Most are not happy to be told they, in some sense are a machine. P.S. your channel has helped me cope with many aspects of life. mainly solidifying my thoughts and beliefs that much of my lifes journey and observations have lead me to. thank you for your channel

  15. Edgar Wen on February 7, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    these are really concrete examples that are clear and understandable with the context you provide- well done!!!!!

  16. Corpse on February 7, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    This is actually really true.

  17. Checkmatehyena00 on February 7, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    I know someone at yalls HQ or whatever listened to Kid Cudi’s Handle with Care

  18. Description Untitled on February 7, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    How am I supposed to give someone an instruction manual to myself, when I myself, don’t even understand myself?

  19. Harry Lime on February 7, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    You need to change the title of this video to "An Instruction Manual to Another Person".

  20. surmayigeet on February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    Alright I think this is the best channel I have ever come across on Youtube. Truly insightful !

  21. Ng J-Cyn on February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    So cute, the last part πŸ™‚

  22. Sonia L on February 7, 2019 at 6:00 pm

    Where can I buy a template of the manual? Great gift idea for Christmas.

  23. Kayleigh Baker on February 7, 2019 at 6:00 pm

    I love this video.

  24. Sarah Holman on February 7, 2019 at 6:02 pm

    Yes, but sometimes "Please tidy away your clothes and put away the dishes," actually means, "Please tidy away your clothes and put away the dishes."

  25. Robert Eugene on February 7, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    Gosh! That was great. Totally true.
    The snag is, of course, when someone’s fault is to not allow you to have any. Or when one of their’s is unquestionably to exploit any of yours, even without knowing they have that particular fault. There are, probably, other snags…<sigh>

  26. Ash A on February 7, 2019 at 6:06 pm

    good video

  27. Jules Garcia on February 7, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    school of life: blah blah blah blah blah fuCK OFF


  28. Didi Claire on February 7, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    one would have an instruction manual once they find out who they are. unfortunately most of us get involved with others before discovering ourselves….

  29. staisi87 on February 7, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    Love this and the School of Life in general! I found that the Myers Briggs Personality test (MBTI) in a way gives you a manual to yourself. It’s really quite amazing to read and then, to the point of this video, share it with your loved ones. I got mine from but there are many other sites for it out there. Hope some of you will try it and have some stimulating epiphanies like I did πŸ™‚

  30. Nola Gatto on February 7, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    Was kind of hoping this would help me understand myself, rather than be more relationship advice
    Still quite interesting though

  31. Simonida Devic on February 7, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    i heard Alain de Botton saying “fuck off`. My life is complete now.

  32. SeaVouPlay on February 7, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Thank you

  33. Tina Kelly on February 7, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Loved this one

  34. Mattias on February 7, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    What about an app that can create a manual for oneself? Which questions should it ask? #theschooloflife

  35. oriana garrido on February 7, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    My instruction Manual:
    give sleep
    feed ice-cream

  36. Anon Nymous on February 7, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    I don’t understand how I don’t know something as simple minded as loading a moving cart properly. I recently moved and last few weeks I loaded a small cart with 4 large garbage bags of clothes and one or two tiny boxes. I was certain I didn’t need help and as I was nearing the hallway the cleaning lady stood there looking at me as though I needed help. As I neared her (humiliated) the stuff fell of my cart. OOHHH it had to happen. What bullshit. anyway she stayed there as tho she wanted to help me when she couldn’t understand that I needed to work this through myself. when the stuff fell off she helped me load and reorganize the cart back up. Things were sturdy then. OMG , why was it that I couldn’t load the cart up myself sturdily from before? Why do I need to have that BITCH mind my business ? Why can’t people mind their own business unless help is asked? MIND OWN BUSINESS unless you have none of your own business to mind. UGH. so after that I complimented her saying oh she’s good at that , and I left feeling very humiliated and dejected. SHe said " you have a good day maam" and that was it. No words of comfort. Just "you have a good day maam" like as if she was better than me just because she was able to load the moving cart better than I can. I felt so insignificant and stupid like incapable of taking care of my own. Why do I suck at manual labor and unable to instinctively load the cart sturdily from before? Was this a lesson I really needed to learn off someone else instead of figuring it out on my own? I don’t understand life sometimes but it is VERY STRESSFUL that this happened. I already have high blood pressure 170/110 and man when i think about this it makes my blood boil even more. SOMEONE GIVE ME A FUCKING ANSWER? WHY DO I SUCK AT MANUAL LABOR? is it because my fucking stupid parents never taught me how to do chores properly? I never had a solid foundation growing up? Never had a fucking father? What is it? I dont understand what is missing?! Why can’t I instinctively KNOW how to properly load a moving cart? of course I know better now but WHY couldn’t I have LEARNED it myself? why did the universe have to put that person there TO HUMILIATE THE SHIT OUT OF ME? I ALREADY HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND DON’T NEED THE STRES OF SOMOENE HUMILIATING ME!! WHY WHY WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN I FEEL SO DEPRESSED THAT THIS HAPPENED =’ ( WAs it her intention to humiliate me?

  37. Angela L on February 7, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    And this is why I am alone with my cat.

  38. Claudiu Semionov on February 7, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    But still… the guy was the first one to say he’s sorry…

  39. Jess Yates on February 7, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    This gives me a heavy heart because it seems so easy to communicate with a partner to have a blessed relationship and instead my marriage is hanging on a thread.

  40. Laura Hancock on February 7, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    Wow amazing!!!!

  41. Nic H on February 7, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    this assumes we know ourselves well enough to be able to write a ‘manual?’

  42. Harmen Breedeveld on February 7, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    It will take courage to be this open to someone else. But it is worth it, both to ourselves and to others. It is an act of love, I am certain of it.

    But before we can do this act of courage, self-love and love, we need to get to know ourselves first.

    This is yet another act that takes courage and represents love towards oneself and towards the other.

    Let’s get to it.

    Warm hugs

  43. gary miller on February 7, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    Brilliant!. Wish I had this kind of education early on.

  44. Aimee on February 7, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    I think it would be really interesting if you published a ‘manual to oneself’ template, that can be used for both self exploration and understanding as well as to foster explanation of oneself to a partner. Perhaps there could also be a ‘couples edition’ which couples could complete together with the intent to share which might better facilitate healthy relationships and growth! πŸ™‚

  45. Andrew Flintoff on February 7, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    When he whispered "operates"

  46. PartiZAn18 on February 7, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    You can only begin to understand yourself through daily introspection – and to record your thoughts. It’s not enough to just meditate.

  47. Antida Vella on February 7, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    Beautiful…… God bless

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