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The Dark Side of Self Improvement | Suzanne Eder | TEDxWilmington

The Dark Side of Self Improvement | Suzanne Eder | TEDxWilmington

Suzanne Eder talks about self improvement at a 2015 TEDX event in Wilmington, Delaware.

Suzanne Eder is a world-class teacher, facilitator and mentor. She founded Solid Ground Transformational Life Coaching in 2003 to help people wake up to their magnificence and create lives they truly love. Suzanne currently authors an award-winning monthly column in Living Well Magazine and has published a book, 10 Ways to Find Peace Rather Than Panic, which earned a full 5-star rating on Amazon. She is a graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, an intense 4-year program in mind-body-spirit health and healing. Suzanne also has degrees in both Accounting and Economics and graduated summa cum laude from the University of Delaware. Currently resides in Wilmington, Delaware.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at


  1. U-Chii Meoww on February 7, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    Self-improvement pill, where are you?

  2. Feijao zão on February 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    bull sheet

  3. HISSEN DAOUD on February 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

    If I Can Do the Little things right i ll never be ablle to do the big things right

  4. Thirukumaran Sabapathi on February 7, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    She said don’t need self improvement, by asking to improve on that part of self. Irony.

  5. Success4Global on February 7, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    We have interviewed Suzanne many times and she is incredible. This is by far one of the best TedX talks out there about self development and it’s pitfalls. Check out her interviews on our channel and also her series "The Alchemy of Self Love" also on our channel.

  6. Ahsan Khalid on February 7, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    i dont agree there is a dark side of self improvement otherwise toddlers cannot be grownups ,infact learning from some one is a self improvement which she has mentioned. I think she mixed idealism where we tried to be like some one with self improvement and agree that it is not a right path.

  7. Renan Quarterback 7 on February 7, 2019 at 5:42 pm

    Excellent! Excellent!

  8. 80's Nostalgia Guy on February 7, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    We should constantly try to improve ourselves- our health, our character, or knowledge, our economic situation. The problem isn’t self improvement. It’s believing that a self help guru, or a book will help us.

  9. Abdullah AL Mamun on February 7, 2019 at 5:45 pm


  10. hieu Cu on February 7, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    Stop trying to change the world

    Stop trying to be perfect

    Stop trying to understand everything

    Stop trying to accomplish unnecessary things

    Stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulder

    Start finding a community you can relate to

    Surround yourself with positive people

    Let others help you, seriously, let them help you

    Express yourself even if it you have to be silly

  11. Anak Malaysia Satu Bangsa on February 7, 2019 at 5:48 pm

    Basically this is teachings of Jesus but its not branded under christianity …

  12. Disha Thakur on February 7, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    I have felt many times hollow and seemed advice in area of relationships and not having a true partner to stand side by but I have taught and pushed myself Everytime. I know these obstacles will come and I have to keep moving not set back. Wow! I noticed few days ago only that self criticism Isn’t good. It inculcates frustration. Loving myself and doing what’s required

  13. Piff Fraser on February 7, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    The first time I heard this truth was on the Landmark Forum; then from the late great Alan Watts and now again, this lady as so wonderfully articulated such an overlooked and ignored reality: we are enough. Everything in this Universe is enough because it exists. That’s the long and short of it.

  14. TBD on February 7, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    The dark side is the subconscious programming you received as a child from unaware parents.

  15. g.bruce on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    soo many people need to hear this 11 minutes

  16. Chamomile Tea on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Thank you for telling me that I know what is best for me. People have always pushed into my life and told me what to do and who to be. It made me nervous and sad. I am finally learning to insist on making my own decisions about life. The guilt of not pleasing people is something I keep working on. All the self improvement tapes, books, and classes can be a waste of time after awhile. It is not about taking one more class. It really does come down to listening to that wisdom from inside which needs to be honored.

  17. Dong Army Stangler on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    I know the answer! Amway!

  18. Komaaa on February 7, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    what i deeply want is still influenced by my low self esteem 🙁

  19. GrowthMindset on February 7, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    Great talk, very eye opening

  20. Hexa Fleet on February 7, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    I love that perspective of wanting to be growth-oriented rather than goal-oriented! That’s so true! When you’re only goal-oriented, all you can think about every day is "I’m not there yet, I’m still not there yet", whereas if you’re growth-oriented, you can feel proud of yourself every single day as you take the little steps towards your goal.

  21. Ivan Kazuo on February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    I will tell ya a story. So back in high school I really wanted to grow a second head. I tried and tried. But I failed. Some day I realizaed I needed help so I called my friend Wang Lang Bang Bang. They were my second head. My second mind. My second heart. My second soul. Stay strong. Peace

  22. Larry Alvarado on February 7, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    Improving things means we are dissatisfied with what we have and once we improve one thing the things that are not improved yet get more stress and taxed and either might feel like a burden. We are imperfect so there are always things to improve then we need to learn to coordinate them together as we demand more. We need to learn to forgive ourselves not because of any 1failts but for out own condemning attitudes about our imperfections during our journey as we forgive others or their imperfections

  23. Sara Rostenkowski on February 7, 2019 at 6:01 pm

    The way she matched her outfit colors to the stage is giving me lifeeee

  24. Haffiz on February 7, 2019 at 6:03 pm


  25. skfjhsdjklfhsdjlfhsd on February 7, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Very interesting talk and views. Sadly, the excessive storification of the talk and the huge amount of pauses turn the viewer’s experience into a listening effort.

  26. markdelej on February 7, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    There is no such thing as self improvement. Alan watts explains this perfectly

  27. DeAja on February 7, 2019 at 6:05 pm

    “The bud is not less whole than the blossom. It’s just in a different stage of development.” I needed to hear that. Thank you.

  28. Med Tayeb on February 7, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    this talk is self development about self-development

  29. Lisseth Bermudez on February 7, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I consider myself a work in progress but I’ve come so far from the skinny shy immigrant gal who couldn’t so much as utter a nonsense. I’m now an authoritative figure in my life and work, assertive but humble. Non of it would’ve came to fruition without making the observation that there’s something I’m fundamentally lacking, something that my parents didn’t teach me, or that my culture didnt expose me to. I come from a low income inner city, my parents greatest expectation was that I don’t get pregnant during high school. When I became self aware, I asked what can I do to be a better version, in the wider spectrum. So I think its necessary to agree that theres something we may be lacking . I may have succumbed to the stereotypes of my culture had I not reached this realization.

    After you agree that theres something you’re lacking, it’s imperative you do a lot of soul searching, explore all hobbies that resonate with the truest you, get as uncomfortable as possible doing things you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid to try, then and only then will you know the answer was inside all along. Traveling and working with people from all over the world has widen my vision of the kind of person I want to be. I know I’m her, the version of myself I envisioned ages ago as a shy insecure youngin.

  30. Robin Mcclain on February 7, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    spot on for just this moment

  31. Anna Toropova on February 7, 2019 at 6:10 pm

    wow. i needed to hear this! thank you <3

  32. Brad Morgan on February 7, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    I related to this entire video because I have been trying to improve myself over the past few years but have been failing in the process. This all starts from comparing yourself to other people. Doing so decreases your self-confidence when you don’t feel as fulfilled in certain areas in your life as others. You then begin to feel a sense of worthlessness because you want to be yourself but don’t want to follow the system someone else has laid in front of you. It’s an empty feeling. Loved the talk.

  33. ASMRyouVEGANyet? on February 7, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    Sounds like Darla may have been raised by parents with narcissistic personality disorder.

  34. Meh emojie on February 7, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Well Done!!! Thank you!!

  35. DJ Psykix on February 7, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    "The best way to improve your self, is to stop negative self talk, stop self judgement, self doubt, stop trying to fix what you think is wrong with yourself and instead, learn positive behaviors that break old bad habits to stop repeating same mistakes, and stop trying to prove yourself."
    — Henry Hernandez, DJ Psykix.

  36. Felipe Mandujano on February 7, 2019 at 6:17 pm

    This is the mother of all mic droppers of Ted Talks

  37. Marangelli Ramos on February 7, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    "You are what it takes" and grow oriented, rather than goal oriented. Love it ❤️ thank you Suzanne!

  38. Taste Sking on February 7, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    jesus she is all over the place. do yourself a favour and just get your lessons of being comfortable with yourself from zen buddhism from alan watts and how to transform yourself to a better version of yourself from jordan peterson. ur welcome

  39. Pepi Badgal on February 7, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    Melanie tonia evans that’s all I’m gonna say. A full on cult, left me with crippling anxiety and lost of sense of self. I’m gonna do a video about this later.

  40. Alluneedis:3 on February 7, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    Thanks you Suzzane Eder because of this talk. And thanks TEDx because you publish on the internet!! Thanks you so much!.

  41. Archita Desai on February 7, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    Thank you so much for this, I really needed this!

  42. sukhmanicambridge on February 7, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    This is sooo needed in the spiritual communities

  43. Pamela de Groot on February 7, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    "She leant how to stop pushing her self forward and instead STARTED LOVING HER SELF FORWARD."

    I love that.

  44. DerbyBrodie on February 7, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    I agree with this life coach’s talk, but I’d like to add this caveat. In matters dealing with mental health improvement, it is best to seek the professional expertise from a doctor in psychology and/or psychiatry. It’s not the dark side of self help when you recognize you cannot fix your mental disorder on your own.

  45. Tien Doan on February 7, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    The purpose of self-development is to fix yourself as an individual, not to make yourself a perfect human being

  46. Sassi Neri on February 7, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Dark side of self improvement is that other people start to look like morons 😀

  47. Jieyu Liang on February 7, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    I really like this speech. It is truly inspiring and worth hearing over and over.

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